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USA Network’s landmark legal drama Suits returns tonight with its season seven premiere. How it has attained this milestone I will never know because it started getting quite repetitive a while back. I suppose it’s because people like me keep tuning in every summer and winter. In my case, it must be through some blind sense of loyalty to the show since I’ve been there since day one and I kind of want to see how it ends. I also think I may have zeroed in on the tried and tested formula for each episode that is paramount to its longevity:

  •  11 “bullshit”s – the maximum allowed on cable TV.
  • 8 “and you know it”s – no character is capable of finishing a point without that little add-on.
  • 5 “you’re a sack of shit”s – let’s face it, this is an apt description of almost every character on the show.
  • 29 “what the hell are you talking about?”s – because someone always has a trick up their sleeve while someone else is in a nigh perpetual state of confusion.
  • Rachel….yea, just Rachel

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  • 1 “Mike’s secret threatens to get out” – I compiled this recipe a while back before his secret had actually gotten out. Ignore.
  • 3071 ridiculously over the top facial expressions from Louis Litt. Christ, that guy has the most punchable mug in all of television.