Aside from the silly money that footballers get to actually do something fun there’s also all this good stuff:

1. Irina Shayk, Cristiano Ronaldo’s girlfriend

2. Ludivine Kadri Sagna, Bacary Sagna’s wife

3. Thomas Vermaelen’s girlfriend

4. Antonella Roccuzzo, Lionel Messi’s girlfriend.

5. Natalie Richardson, Kieran Richardson’s wife, and he’s pretty rubbish.

Is 29 too late to kick off my footballing career? If only my energy and fitness levels matched my obvious talent.

Ah, maybe in another life. Just have to hope I can pull something close to one of these girls playing kick-around in a dust bowl on a Wednesday night.